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Diving in head first

This is the post excerpt.

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I have always wanted to write.

I have always feared writing.

Feared being authentic in a moment and recording it. Paranoid that my thoughts would shift overtime and somehow become a weapon to be later used against me. Instead of leaning into my fear, I have let it lead me astray – stifling part of my soul.

This blog is me whatever that means, I’m still trying to figure that out.

Morning Affirmation

I made a decision this morning that even at my lowest I’m a gem. 
The reality of being a woman, maybe more so than being human, is on my morning run I would prefer to listen to the sounds of my environment 
But I feel safer listening to music and becoming solid in my aloneness, my breath, the hard slap of my heels on the concrete 
Than listen to the horns 
The hoots 
The hollers 
I would rather match my pace to some trap 
Than feel the slow creep of you hiding behind your tint
There are so many strong qualities about this queen besides the power in my step 
I ain’t here for window shopping 

Slow down She Says

Deep breath

Air twisting, rolling into the nose

Lungs expanding, stretching

Shifting ribs

Movement

Weight displaced

Unconditioned action

Slow down
Deep breath
Notice

As is

Watch

Don’t change

Let Be

Shift into awareness

Take notice
Deep breath
Just Be

Dive in

Float in inner depth

Be within

Find pause in self
Deep breath

A sense of knowing

First wave
Exhilarating
Sheer power propelling me forward
Layers of change
Momentum of nature
Mindful of the arena
Senses heightened
Warm crisp wind blowing by my ears
Notes of Salt and Sea on my tongue
Rough friction of wax on my toes
Bright blinding light blonding my brows
Sun Rays gently kissing my body
Loving unconditionally
As if a past lover
Delicately exciting my cells
Feeding my soul
Accepting me

I remember a poster when I was
Young
impressionable
naive
Worked from the sand and the surf
Sun kissed
Full
it read-
God’s Arena
And for a moment
I understood